home
news
review
interviews
time killer
podcast
games
shop

GD’s Variant Best-of-2009!

Posted under News by Kenneth Ellis on Monday, January 18th, 2010 -

oscar1-copy1-430x336

It’s that time again! The time of year when all us game sites talk endlessly about what games were the best games of 2009, and Gaming Dead is no exception. Mostly because we can’t come up with our own ideas!

But we do like to do things a little differently here in the wastelands of gaming, so here’s our own special and slightly offbeat “Best games of 2009″!

BEST 5th game of 2009!

This was a really hard choice. First, I had to sift through all those asshole great games that all the other sites are jumping all over as if they were the last clean beds at the orphanage. Secondly, I had to remember the games that were good but fell through the cracks just enough to be almost forgotten. I started late last night at 6pm and by the time I was done with my grueling work 6:15 had rolled around and I had found The 5th Best Game of 2009!

Street Fighter IV:

SFIVcover Yeah, this wasn’t the best game of the year. It had some problems with difficulty, the unlock system was a bit annoying, the later release of  Super Street Fighter IV almost negated the existence of ST4, and Sagat was cheap. (I mean really cheap! Why is he so O.P.? Why?! In a fair and just world, why does a character so cheap exist!? He’s cheaper than a Costco hotdog. Gah!) Accepting all of this, the game was still pretty fucking good. The controls were decent and responsive, and the online play is pretty streamlined. I know it’s not everyone’s favorite, but that’s why it’s The 5th Best Game of 2009!

(Runner Up: LocoRoco 2. I think we all know why….)

 

 
BEST Game to Get Drunk and Play with Your Drunk Loser Friends!

Braidlogo What’s better than getting blitzed out of your mind with your buddies and then trying to solve complex puzzles based on mental acuity? That’s right, nothing. Braid brought everything a drunken gaming party would ever need. Confusing story bits, mind bending paradoxical puzzles, and the ability to let every inebriated jackass in the room back seat drive you into oblivion. If you’ve never had two half-conscious people pointing at two different places for you to go on the screen, while another dick-hat is telling you to “throw the key” followed by your friend demanding that you give him the controller so he can “do it the right way” then you have never truly played Braid.

(Runner Up: Beer-pong. Good game, but the graphics really start to suck after level 5…)

Best Game to finally Accept its own timely death!

dukeIt only took a good 10+ years, but the best game to ever not come into being finally died and went away for the good of all mankind. Duke Nukem: Forever will live on in our hearts and minds, but now the Great Anticipation is over and we can all move on with our lives. Yes, we here at GD do enjoy our fair share of things that rise again and will not/ shall not die, but this only applies to things that at some point in time actually lived. Duke Nukem: Forever never saw the light of day and yet was not dead. It was like some cruel reverse-zombie that became undead before its life began. I wouldn’t want to live in a world like that. Thank goodness that the universe saw fit to end it before it began.

(Runner Up: Sex Kitten Slave 6: House Warming Party of Doom. My own game which I had to finally let die from my dreams and imagination for reasons. Legally binding reasons.)

Best Over-Hyped Game That Fell Flat on Its Face Upon Release Because No One Cared Anymore!

RE5BOXART Remember in 2008 when people talked about Resident Evil 5 like it was the second coming of Christ? People were praying to the Capcom gods to send down its holy child to smite the unbelievers. Well as an unbeliever in the Book of RE, here I stand un-smitten. This game was getting more press and attention than a $1 hooker having a 75% off sale. I think the problem was that it was so over-hyped, so over-analyzed, that by the time it came out it had no mystery or allure to it. After seeing all the videos and pictures, it felt as though we had already played it. When release day arrived I don’t know of one person who said that they had even bought it. Sad, really. I think for the next RE game, the only press released should be a  a picture of a zombie looking back at the camera and its holding Redfield’s body. I would buy that game!

(Runner Up: Ghostbusters. I, a huge Ghostbusters fan, did not even rent this game.)

And so concludes the GAMING DEAD 2009 AWARDS WRAP UP! SEE YOU IN 2011!

If by some chance you do not agree with my statements or have a diverging opinion email me at ken@gamingdead.com, so I can reply with curse words!

Be Sociable, Share!
Tags: , , , ,

One comments… read them below or add one

  1. Adam Bruno says:

    ……

    Want some of my meds, buddy?

Leave a Reply