I don’t know about you, but I personally am tired of crappy video games being cranked out whenever a “blockbuster” movie is released. Most of the time they either: A. Suck balls or B. Suck balls and have as much to do with the movie as Steven Seagal does with good acting.
These games look hastily made, shoddily programmed, and are usually just not fun. I think this may be due to a lack of substance in the movies and books they are based off of.
Here are a few properties that really deserve a video game!
The Dark Crystal: Yeah, that’s right I’m starting way back. Way back in 1982! This movie was about the darkest kid-oriented film released in the 80s, and the 80′s had some out there films.
The Dark Crystal had a kick-ass face melt scene involving a lowly creature getting its soul sucked out by dark light, which was then distilled into a vial that was immediately drank by the Skeksis king. That’s bad-ass, my friends. This movie has action-adventure rpg written all over it. Magic, prophecies, epic destinies, and lost loves! Oh man, don’t forget about the action! People were dying left and right in the movie. Fighting giant beetles, riding 10 foot tall camels, and lunging onto ancient crystals, etc.
Let’s just say the action in the game would be most choice. Most choice indeed. Done right, it could be on par with M0rrowind (gasp!). Throw in a sweet cameo by Gobo Fraggle and I’d be first in line for this one.
Are you SEEING this book?! Yeah, that Jane Austin bore-fest got a shot of pure testosterone-laced heroine, and was re-imagined with fucking zombies. I’m reading this book myself right now–although it been rough going with the lack of pictures–and it’s just about my favorite book this year.
You know that uptight main character from the real book? Probably not, but for the sake of argument let’s assume you do. Well, that prissy, uptight chick from the book is now a prissy, uptight chick who is a master in Kung Fu who kills ninjas and eats their hearts as well as destroys zombies. I’m thinking Resident Evil/Silent hill type game for this one, but with more people, more zombies, set in Victorian England, and with the end-game not killing all the zombies or escaping some elaborate house, but instead getting married to that well bred gentleman, Mr. Darcy.
Get some romance in there so your girlfriend will sit down and play it too, and stop nagging you about “ignoring” her and “not appreciating” her. (WTF, right?) Anyway, this is a REAL book, and a REAL movie is in the makes. Hopefully a game will follow.
The Lorax is a Dr. Seuss classic. Its message of taking care of the earth, and defending nature’s beauty had not and has not been so wonderfully realized. It’s as poignant today as an adult as it was when I was a kid. The lesson it tries to teach applies to anyone, of any age, in any time period, ever.
Now let’s see this baby as an online multiplayer RTS! Take on the roll of the Lorax and speak for the trees by bending them to your will, sending them to battle, and let all those in the way know the fury of the Truffula Trees and Bar-ba-Loots. Or, Side with the Once-ler and let that tree hugging Lorax feel the sting of the industrial complex from your Thneed making factories and your Hapen-hork Harvesters. Who is he to stop progress?!
And who are you that you wouldn’t play the shit out of this game?!
Video game companies should really get more creative with the video games they make from licensed IPs. If you’ve played one movie-based video game you’ve played them all, but lets see a few games come out of the more creative and original areas of film and literature. If companies want to be uncreative, they should at least be uncreative with a creative idea.Tags: film, Movie, video game