Kenneth Ellis

Recently, when new Sonic games have been announced, they’ve seemed like the release of Batman (1989), but then, when they actually come out, we realize they’re more like crappy Batman Forever (1995). Like a pregnant woman in an abusive relationship next to a flight of stairs, we always fall for it. [Yikes. --Chris]

Well, guess what! There’s a new Sonic game announced and it (fuck me!) feels like BATMAN!

Ok, yes, there is a new Sonic the Hedgehog game and it is apparently supposed to not have any werewolves, air racing, or 3-D environments. YAY!! I guess some upstart intern at the Sonic Team H.Q. accidentally gave the heads of the company a memo containing useful ideas, because the game hearkens back to Sonic’s roots with the inclusion of speed, 2-D environments, and speed!

It’s set to release in 2010. I got a video of a teaser trailer for it but I have to say something first, and I hope Sega is reading:

Speed and 2-D environments are not the “roots” of a Sonic game, they are in fact the whole tree. That’s what makes a Sonic game. It’s about Fun. Studios have this weird idea that 3-D-rendered and high-polygon-counted characters and environments are what gamers want in a game. I really hope someone slaps some sense into them, and soon, because I personally have found myself drifting back to my Super Nintendo as recent games have been boring me to death.

OK, Teaser time!

(Source: Luke Plunkett @ Kotaku)